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Sunday 23 September 2012

Domestic abuse/violence...

Hi guys, a serious topic here, one that is close to my heart and one I have wanted to blog to spread the word and inform society as its a subject people think they know about but actually there is a lot more then what hides behind the title.

A lot of people think its just physical...Domestic violence/abuse in Women's Aid's (a site for women affected by Domestic abuse) view domestic violence is physical, sexual, psychological or financial that takes place within an intimate or family-type relationship and that forms a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour


1 in 4 women experience this in there lifetime.
1 in 6 men experience this in there lifetime.

It was estimated that 1.2 million women experience Domestic Abuse each year. Most of these are not reported to the police.

The wheel

This wheel shows the types of Domestic violence, "Power and Control" is the key when it comes to abuse.

Domestic Abuse is broken into sections

Emotional/psychological = Putting someone down, making them feel unworthy. Having "power and control" over the victim. Making someone feel low and insecure. Isolating the victim, cutting them off from family and friends. Blaming someone to feel they are always in the "wrong".

Physical= Pushing, hitting, kicking, punching are just to name a few of the types of physical abuse you can experience.

Financial= Preventing the victim from having money, or getting a job. Making the victim ask for money, this gains the perpertrator "power".

Sexual= This could be rape, sexual assault. Making the victim do something they do not want to do. Some women/men are raped on a regular basis but would not think it to be "rape" as it is there partner, but that is not always the case.

Has this surprised you? Sound familiar or does it sound like someone you know? If so you can talk to me or there are contacts at the end of this post.

Lots of people never think its Domestic Abuse in there relationship due to it not being physical. Emotional is one overlooked, it can have long term effects, as I personally say bruises fade but the emotional scares stay. The perpretrator will put you down, then like jeykl and hyde switch and be super nice so you stay as it messes with your head and the good bits feel great. Then the bad bits end up being "your fault", you apologise and the cycle continues.

I have my own story of my own experience but will not go into it. Hope you have found this helpful! I have such a passion for helping men and women going through this or who have and left the abusive relationship! To those suffering in silence, speak out and get help, there is light at the end of the tunnel and I am proof that life really does get better, you can move on with support. If you feel unsafe and unable to then please ring Womans Aid, a charity who you can talk to confidentially who can support you 0808 2000 247 its a 24/7 service. Here is there website www.womansaid.org.uk. Also, contact your local childrens centre if you have children , they can assist in helping you with relevant support and the police.

Hope this post has given people an insight in Domestic Abuse, as I feel this really needs highlighting. Remember it isnt always just a relationship, it can also happen within family settings too. I hope to reach out to those who may have gone through this or who are currently experiencing this. Do not be afraid, you have the strength, and if you feel you havent then reach out to those around you who can help lift you up through this difficult time.

A xx


  1. Wow this was really interesting and inspiring. Thanks for writing this post, there are many young girls and guys who go through this and your right they need to speak up and not suffer in silence.

    1. Thanks lovely! Wasnt sure whether to publish this or not! Thank you xxxx

    2. You did the right thing spreading the word can help someone feel that they are not alone. That’s were we make a difference speaking up, by our experiences we can help others be strong and face things and get help should they need it. Our voice makes them know that they are no alone. You’re were very brave in posting this thanks for sharing :)

    3. Thanku Leslie! Thats the sweetest comment!!! Xxx

  2. You're amazing for bringing this up. It's something that we shouldn't be putting away and something that deserves the attention it needs. I really hope you helped at least one person by posting this :)


    1. I do too!! Need to spread the word! Its a subject i personally know and one i come into contact with through work. Im very passionate about helping sufferers or those who conquered xxxx

  3. Great article - I think domestic abuse is something which should be constantly made aware of.

    Kassie xo

    1. Thanks hun! Hope i can reach out to others xxx

  4. This is a great post love! You inspire me so much!


    1. Thank you hun :) took a while for me to publish! Wasnt sure whether to publish as its such a sensitive topic xx


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